Memento and The Trade Period Industrial Complex

I watched Chris Nolan’s Memento for the first time the other night. Pretty good. It was interesting because, even though I watched it with the knowledge of what Nolan’s career has become and I knew about his overdone fetish with time, Memento still felt fresh and cool. It felt like a first big step into the mainstream. Unlike Tenet which felt like the biggest blockbuster director since Spielberg telling a studio to give him the keys.

I also thought it was funny that Memento was the first of Nolan’s movies where he had a handsome, impeccably dressed, but cold protagonist seeking to avenge the untimely death of his brunette wife. He has since gone back to that well more than a few times. I wonder if his mum was brunette? Not important.

The main thought that I had seeing that Guy Pearce’s wife was brunette was that Nolan really should have directed Shutter Island. It would have suited him beautifully.

This is not, despite the opening, a space for me to discuss my complicated feelings about Christopher Nolan’s work. It is to discuss the idea of the Memento tattoo. I think I’m going to start getting them. I forget things constantly. My short-term memory is not quite at the level of Guy Pearce’s, but it isn’t far off so it might be time.

The first one that I’m going to get is one, right across my chest in the same place that Guy Pearce had the one that said “John G raped and murdered my wife”, but instead says “the winner of the trade period doesn’t always win on the field”.

As a Richmond fan, I was over the moon to get Hopper and Taranto. They fill Richmond’s biggest hole from last year, provided Balta continues to play in defence - grunt around the ball. I hope and pray that we are able to send Taranto and Hopper after opposing team’s midfielders like we’re Carrie Ann Moss or Joey Pants from Memento, just using Guy Pearce to do their dirty work (quick nit-pick: why is Guy Pearce, an insurance investigator, so good at fighting?).

But I have no idea if it’s going to work like that.

Virtually every article that has been written about the trade period has Richmond winning the week. Terrific. I love nothing more than reading about how good my club is.

I wanted to know, however, if my scepticism was warranted so I decided to go through a few years of articles from afl.com.au that were ranking the success of trade periods. The issue, initially, is where to start.

I wanted to start from when I felt like the Trade Period Industrial Complex (TPIC) got underway. By TPIC, I mean the AFL’s attempt to make itself at least a 9-month sport, like the NBA. The way to do this is to build interest in ultimately marginal moves and devote countless hours of airtime discussing whether Joel Hamling is the missing link for whatever club needs a Joel Hamling.

I landed on Treloar moving from GWS to Collingwood. That was agonised over on trade radio, and more ink was spilled on Treloar’s comment that “Collingwood was closer to a premiership than Richmond” than almost anything else that offseason. That felt like the true beginning, and the power of the TPIC has only grown from there.

To be honest, the power of the TPIC was such that I was annoyed about that Treloar comment right up until he was victimised by Nathan Buckley and Collingwood.

Anyway, that happened after the 2015 season, so I thought that was where I would start, and I would finish with 2020 because any closer and we don’t have a full picture of the success or failure of the 2021 trade period.

The parameters of the gimmick are simple. Any club’s trade period that was adjudged one of the best or one of the worst would be included, alongside a quick one line on why the trade period was a success or a failure. I used only the “winners and losers” type column from afl.com.au for consistency.

They changed their ranking system over the years. For 2015 and 2016 they used letter grads so anyone who got under a C- or over a B+ warranted a mention in this collation. For 2017 and 2018 they moved to a number system and became a big more generous with their grades so anything under a 5.5 or over 8 is included in the column. Finally in 2019 and 2020 they pivoted again to ranking all of the clubs from worst to best trade period. I just did the top and bottom 3.

I also did not look into the drafts from those years in large part because, when judging the trade period, nobody else can. We aren’t like American sports where there is a college system which means that draft prospects are broadcast to the whole country and we can watch them play on a big stage before they reach the professional ranks. Instead we listen to Cal Twomey, who doesn’t an excellent job, saying yet another player is a “Dustin Martin type” because he gives a lot of don’t argues.

Anyway, onto the list.

2015

Worst

· Nobody had a bad 2015 trade period.

Best

· Essendon – Managed to get pick 5 for Jake Carlisle and were able to get value for Melksham. Matthew Leunberger a helpful depth player (A)

· Geelong – Added Patrick Dangerfield (A+).

· Melbourne – Used points to get picks 3 and 7 and managed to nab Tom Bugg and Jake Melksham (A+).

· St Kilda – Managed to add Jake Carlisle. Also added Nathan Freeman and have access to father son prospect Bailey Rice (A-).

2016

Worst

· Adelaide – they let Jarryd Lyons walk and couldn’t get the Bryce Gibbs deal done (E).

· Collingwood – Unable to sign any key position players, unable to seal deal with Eric Mackenze. Lost Travis Cloke, Nathan Brown and Jarrod Witts (D).

· Geelong– Only ended up with Zach Tuohy and couldn’t make Deledio’s salary work. Didn’t get enough for Vardy or Kersten. Let Caddy walk (D).

· Port Adelaide – Unable to move Hamish Hartlett and the long-term deals on their books will mean the Power will be without much success in the near future with no high picks (D-).

Best

· Brisbane – kept Tom Rockliff and had a strong draft hand with new footy manager and coach (A-).

· Fremantle – Got gun talls Cam McCarthy and Joel Hamling and retained pick 7 (A).

· GWS – Added elite player Brett Deledio and pick 2 (A).

· Melbourne – Adding Jordan Lewis and Hibberd were big coups for Melbourne (A-).

· St Kilda – Clear winners in 2016 adding Jack Steele and Nathan Brown and now are primed for a big 2017 (A+).

· West Coast – Adding Sam Mitchell and young gun Nathan Vardy bolstered West Coast even though they couldn’t get Hayden Ballentine (A).

2017

Worst

· Collingwood – Didn’t do anything (5).

· North Melbourne – Weren’t able to trade Todd Goldstein, nor were they able to get Dustin Martin or Kelly. Quiet trade period (5).

Best

· Essendon – Added Saad, Smith and Stringer. Perfect. (9).

· Fremantle – 2 top 5 picks in 2018 draft and added Brandon Matera and Nathan Wilson (9).

· Port Adelaide – Biggest winner of the trade period nabbing gun players Tom Rockliff, Steven Motlop and Jack Watts (and his grey trackies) (9).

2018

Worst

· GWS – Had to shave money so they lost genuine stars Dylan Shiel and Tom Scully as well as their ruckman and Will Setterfield. Still managed to get picks 9 and 11 (5).

Best

· Essendon – Added prime mover Dylan Shiel. He alone is enough to make the trade period a huge success (8.5).

· Richmond – Added Tom Lynch. Nothing further required (8.5).

2019

Worst

· Carlton –Couldn’t get Jack Martin or Tom Papley and added ageing Eddie Betts. Did add promising ruckman Marc Pittonet (18th).

· Adelaide – Weird exodus out of Adelaide. Wonder what’s happening with the indigenous players? (17th).

· Sydney – Unable to add Joe Daniher and Tom Papley wasn’t traded despite wanting back to Victoria (16th).

Best

· St Kilda – Dominant trade period adding “A-grade wingman” Hill and 10-year full back in Dougal Howard (1st).

· West Coast – Added Tim Kelly. Better for having him, price be damned (2nd).

· Western Bulldogs – Josh Bruce and Alex Keath come in to bolster weak forward and back lines to complement a dominant midfield (3rd).

2020

Worst

· Collingwood – Full on firesale. Had to get rid of rising star winner and future star Jaidyn Stephenson, Tom Phillips and Adam Treloar. “Lamentable” (18th).

· Essendon – Lost Daniher, Saad and Fantasia and brought in Caldwell, Wright and Hind. Clearly lost class (17th).

· GWS – Lost Jeremy Cameron just for picks and not established players (16th).

Best

· Bulldogs – “Wow”. Managed to keep Dunkley and snatch Treloar as well as Stefan Martin (1st).

· St Kilda – Lured Brad Crouch, Shaun McKernan and Jack Higgins and kept their first rounder. Only lost Nick Hind (2nd).

· Port Adelaide – Added Aliir Aliir and Orazio Fantasia and lost no players off their list(3rd).

So anyway, I’m thinking of getting the “winner of the trade period doesn’t always win on the field” tattoo right across my chest from collarbone to collarbone. On my rib cage I might just do another one that says “adding B- footballers does not a premiership make”. Maybe instead of that I’ll get a tattoo that just says “Watts, Motlop and Rockliff”.

A bit of quick maths will show you that the two teams that figure most prominently in the “best” are St Kilda and Essendon. The Saints figure in the “best” 4 out of 6 years, and the Bombers 3 out of 6 years. In this 6 year span they have one finals series between them.

My personal favourites are the victory lap being done over nabbing Dylan Shiel for only 2 first round picks for Essendon in 2018 and the Saints being able to snare “A-grade wingman” Brad Hill in 2019. Ask Saints and Bombers fans what they think of Shiel or Hill at the start of a long drive. You won’t even need to put on a podcast, you’ll have one happening next to you.

Another favourite is Geelong being a loser for getting consolation prize Zach Tuohy instead of Brett Deledio. Conversely, GWS were a big winner because they were able to snatch Deledio.

Some were right, however. The TPIC is not always wrong. In fact, they usually make their layups. Richmond adding Lynch and Geelong adding Dangerfield were huge coups and they were mentioned written about in that way. I hope that Hopper and Taranto are the same way.

And I’m not trying to be snarky here or a genius in hindsight. The point that I’m trying to make is that we can guess and prognosticate on any manner of things, but declaring a trade offseason good or bad before the draft and before any games are played is a foolish errand.

I understand that the TPIC demands it, and I understand that it has to be done, but I reserve the right to make fun of it.